TV host does a body good

This morning I was watching a popular morning TV morning show and I could have sworn I heard the following:

[SCENE:]Local television studio.  It is winter.  Times are tough.  People are thirsty for new nutrition ideas, and milk.  A promotional segment for the dairy farmers’ industry is in progress, getting ready to wrap for commercial.

Hostess, we’ll call her Belinda: Well thank you, Diane [I’m guessing].  You know, we can really learn a lot about the benefits of dairy from your tips today.  Thank you SO MUCH for being here.

Diane: It was my pleasure, Belinda.  We love coming by and sharing our healthful information about the wonderful qualities of dairy and milk with our fellow Western New Yorkers.

Belinda the Hostess: Before we go pay the bills – go Bills! – can you tell us what is an easy way we can include more dairy into our everyday life?

Diane: Sure!  I would love to!  First, for those adults watching you can simply add more cheese to your meals.  You know, Belinda--

Belinda the Hostess: Mmmmhmm--

Diane: You know, we’re into the winter season now and--

Belinda the Hostess: Yes, and you know what?  This morning I said to my husband, Gary, I said, “When are you going to get me a space heater for my sewing room like I asked TWO months ago?” No answer!  He just ignores me!  You can never trust a man with a woman’s job, can you Diane?

Diane: Yes.....well...so I was going to say you can start by including more cheese into your wintertime casseroles.  That’s a great way to include more dairy and also more fun into your meals.

Belinda the Hostess: Is that right?  What about some Bison chip dip?

Diane: Okay.

Belinda the Hostess: Because you know what we say in my house, if it’s not Bision, it’s not chip dip!

Diane: Mmmyes.

Belinda the Hostess: Say, what can we do to get more diary into our kids?  You know, the obesity rates are staggering for our young people today.  And we have a lot of them right here on our home turf, don’t we?

Diane: Well I can’t speak to that, but I can suggest that you make every glass of milk a chocolate glass of milk.

Belinda the Hostess: You don’t say!  What a sneaky little devil you are, Diane!  I’m going to have to call my brother-in-law, the cop, and have him come down and arrest you.  Feeding our kids with chocolate milk!  Well [laughs for 10 seconds] I guess that just might be the only thing that works.

Diane: Yes, and if you can get them to drink a glass of chocolate milk right after physical activity, it will help to absorb the healthy nutrients.

Belinda the Hostess: Or even instead of physical activity.

Diane: Yes, well, uh--

Belinda the Hostess: Well let me tell you something, Diane, you have been so helpful to us today here with your milk tips.  Thank you again!  We have lots to think about, don’t we Western New York, as we head to the grocery store the next time.  It’s time we start thinking more about milk and less about junk food.  We’ll be right back with our exclusive interview with William Shatner via satellite.

[GRAPHIC:] Image of cows grazing and station logo with text: THE PRECEDING SEGMENT WAS PAID FOR BY THE NEW YORK STATE DAIRY FARMERS’ ASSOCIATION OF NEW YORK STATE, A NEW YORK STATE SUBSIDY OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK.  THIS STATION DOES NOT NECESSARILY GUARANTEE OR ENDORSE INFORMATION OFFERED IN PAID ADVERTISEMENTS.

Photo illustration used photo by this guy.

Posted by on 11/19 at 11:56 AM